Describe the details of the problem. Define the problem as specifically as you can. For example: Who is involved? When did something happen? What happened? What did you say and do? What did they say and do?

Explain people’s emotions. How did you feel about it? How did they feel about it? Were other people’s feelings affected, too?

Connect the clues. Connect the actions with the feelings. (For example, did you say something to someone, and that person did something as a result of what you said? Or vice versa?)

Offer options. This is where you will brainstorm ideas about what you could have said and done differently. For example, were you clear about what you said and did? Was there any misunderstanding that happened? Do you think the other person was clear, or might have said or done something differently?

Decide what to do. Now choose from the options you have discovered and write down something you will do to solve the problem. Did you find a solution that you want to try?

Energize the game plan. Now that you have discovered the way, give it a try!

Reflect and re-evaluate your plan. It’s important to look back on what you chose to do and decide whether or not it worked. Was all or part of your solution effective?  Are you satisfied with the outcome? If so, good for you! If not, take another look at your options and try again.